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JFK-London (didn't happen BTW) 3/6/06
my pocket feels empty without you in it, there a the other end of a phone i no longer carry. my life feels empty, drained of your presence here in a portal-of my own choosing-to misery. i think i know what i want, or at least what i don't...and i want to be beside your kisses in a soft bed tonight, not at the beginning of a long journey to reteach myself the pain of unfulfillment. not to be so alone without a familiar face to be seen.
love makes itself so much more visible in absence but i have to tell myself that this maleable world is mine to shape for me and to remember that there is no time, so i can never have really left you. but i wish i were telling this to your face not just to this notebook and myself.
i don't think i'll ever be able to go alone again...that's what death is for, not this life that so demands your company.
i have so much trouble soothing myself, comfort has become yours to give. and i wonder, without meaning to, if this is really necessary. and suppose, without knowing, that it must be. there are no sweet returns without sad goodbyes. so, goodbye.
my pocket feels empty without you in it, there a the other end of a phone i no longer carry. my life feels empty, drained of your presence here in a portal-of my own choosing-to misery. i think i know what i want, or at least what i don't...and i want to be beside your kisses in a soft bed tonight, not at the beginning of a long journey to reteach myself the pain of unfulfillment. not to be so alone without a familiar face to be seen.
love makes itself so much more visible in absence but i have to tell myself that this maleable world is mine to shape for me and to remember that there is no time, so i can never have really left you. but i wish i were telling this to your face not just to this notebook and myself.
i don't think i'll ever be able to go alone again...that's what death is for, not this life that so demands your company.
i have so much trouble soothing myself, comfort has become yours to give. and i wonder, without meaning to, if this is really necessary. and suppose, without knowing, that it must be. there are no sweet returns without sad goodbyes. so, goodbye.
posted by trevolmes at
4:39 PM
2 Comments:
"at the beginning of a long journey to reteach myself the pain of unfulfillment"
You knew it going into it.
Take what you can from it.
The pendulum is already swinging.
The -world- IS -maleable-.
By
Anonymous, at 6:28 PM
Start writing again, damnit! :)
By
Rocky Mountain Rat Girl, at 9:18 AM
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