primary outlet

sloth tangles in the mixed impossible hegemony.

you musn't make sense of outlines of phonecalls, two hugely dark birds swooping and cawing, may i call you by a true name i've asked in this wish to disappear. the toilet paper running out, mentioned again, and again, and i remember physically to put the roll back on the right way. OVER!

but to wish you in a dreaming day is stifling. do i, or don't i, just want to be alone. her smell is so captivating, even here where it's just a wisp of a trace memory. the most powerful kind they say. who the hell.

i'm not ignored. just reminded by people i don't want to, who come in and out of hours and consume so much my breathing resricts itself to coughs. wake me by phone, heat, a lazy lazy look in her eyes. i'm not impressed. how long is a million seconds? how big can you visualize? marbles, say, 1, 10, 100, 1000, 10000? then what? ten thousand times one hundred. good luck getting that to stick a picture in your mind. anything, even post-it-notes, or dice, or sand, eggs, people? how bout 8 million inside NYC limits, and 30 million more in the metro area. those numbers are completely unchartable in our mental space. no map can correct your course through that size system.

and the deal is, i was born, she was born, and after the adventures we've already had, and the wisdom we've gained, we're supposed to meet. and we will. but why isn't it ever who i think it is. i have yet to shake her hand or kiss the further reaches of her thighs/flights. whisper back, i have ears for radio waves and all kinds of other resonance. put out a drawing signal. i'll stop whining. let's clear this static with some supersonic WHUMP! and we'll know precisely where we are in this mess by the echo that makes.